I breathed slowly, concentrating on the breath filling my lungs and leaving my mouth. The birds called me gently guiding me to soar with them. I left my worries and buzzing thoughts and entered pure relaxation. My emotional and spiritual well filled so that I would enter a day of love, peace, and harmony with my family.
I must confess that as soon as I start to become somewhat wakeful, my mind generally races into the list of what I need to do and what the schedule is for the day. I establish my expectations and pile on the burdens of my day. Then I wonder why my neck, shoulders, and upper back radiates pain. Today, however, we had no schedule to keep, and I refused to be laden with the impending thoughts of lesson plans. And, so I experimented with creating a sacred moment for myself--an idea that I once would've thought was crazy.
Pete and I snuggled and chatted about how we wanted to spend our time today. We agreed that a wonderful way to start the day would be to have breakfast at the local diner--just the two of us. It was sweet to just be together as we discussed what we wanted to do next. We decided to go miniature golfing, and we invited Richard to join us now that he was home. Spontaneously, we signed up for golfing and the corn maze.
The cheery Black-eyed Susans greeted us, brightening an overcast day. We laughed during the golfing. Richard kept score, and Pete celebrated when he was happy with his shot. We all finished within a few strokes of each other, and we were off to the corn maze.
We walked to the beginning of the maze, and they stood plotting out the path separately.
Two peas in a pod. I captured the moment and wondered who would be the official navigator, or perhaps would they be able to share the responsibility?
It was a gift to simply follow them and to not worry about the maps or where the journey might take us. Letting go of being the planner, organizer, and navigator was a relief. I was free to hunt for treasures that I might've missed along the way if I had been in I'm-the-captain mode.
I found a few sacred moments that they both seemed to miss.
When I looked down, I found a mushroom growing amongst the corn stalks in the wet soppy land. I was struck by how it simply existed all by itself. Content with the soil and it's space.
Then I looked up at the sky. The corn stalks framed the sky for me, and I closed my eyes wondering what I could here out in the middle of this corn maze. Of course, the passing cars on the road not too far away. Then I listened more closely the leaves rustling in the gentle breeze and a low distant moaning as if the stalks felt the burdens of the growing corn. What peace!
We encountered many intersections, and I was reminded of Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken" ... "and I, I took the road less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
When I stood mentally reciting these words, I was aware that I must take a road that I don't always choose to travel... the road of forgiveness. I sighed. Where the heck did that thought come from? Who did I need to forgive? Why did I have to choose that road now?
Well, of course, I didn't have to choose that road, but as we had a lot of exploring to do, I pondered the word.
Forgiveness.
One meaning in the dictionary says that to forgive is "to cease to feel resentment against."
Yes. Somehow that made a lot of sense, but part of me resisted and just wanted to get lost in the maze of life and not face the question: Where in my life do I need to offer forgiveness?
So many people. So many places. It felt overwhelming.
Then I hit a muddy patch, and as I looked at my feet, I realized that I must forgive myself. I didn't dwell on the plethora of reasons; instead I simply thought, "I forgive myself."
Then I looked at my husband. Again, I didn't try to dredge up any specifics from the past weeks, I simply thought, "I forgive you. Please forgive me."
Then I heard Pete yell, "Mom! Come and follow me." Again, I thought, "I forgive you, Pete. Please forgive me."
"Danny," I thought, "I forgive you. Please forgive me."
The list could have gone on for hours, but a tiny seed of inner peace began to take root. I sighed aware that the forgiveness set me free from the inner turmoil that has created so much stress in my life and in my relationships with others this week.
Inner harmony set in as forgiveness blossomed within my heart space. We wandered all over the elaborate trails, searching for clues and hidden words to solve the word puzzle.
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| The flags and bright lines are over-layed on the maze's map with our exact path from Richard's GPS. |
We entered focused on how to find our way and who to follow. My husband plotted our physical path, and I plot our emotional/spiritual path. We emerged with our hearts connected when one of us simply asked for forgiveness. I am so grateful for that road less traveled by. I think it's a road that I'm meant to travel more frequently.
My day started with self-love, which opened my heart to give and receive a very healing love.
Tomorrow I choose to start my day with self-love. I wonder what treasures the Universe will bring forth. I await tomorrow's adventures.
Namaste,
L
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