Shopping: A bust? The jackpot?

Clothes shopping. Shoe shopping. These are evocative phrases. For some of us, shopping is a glorious treasure hunt to be savored. For others of us, the mere thought of shopping evokes sheer dread. I must confess that I'm not a shop-a-holic. For me shopping goes one of two ways, it's a complete bust, or I hit the jackpot. Today was an exception.

I had been looking forward to going to the women's store where I hit the jackpot last school year; it was over an hour away, and my credit card was ready. My mom and I drove together, and we waltzed into the store. Nothing jumped out and said, "Where have you been all my life? I've been waiting for you." I tried on a couple of dresses, but to say that they weren't flattering would be an understatement. In the midst of my frustration with my body, a salesgirl repeatedly offered help. My bubble was burst. Today, I decided was going to be a bust. I huffed a deep sigh.

We went back to the car and decided to try the mall, after all we'd driven over an hour, and my mom has much more patience for shopping than I do. We checked out a couple of women's clothing stores, which were to no avail, and I slipped into "woe is me" role so let me kick myself verbally while I'm down.

"I'm too fat. I can't believe after swimming so much that I'm still this big. I wish that I were smaller then I would love shopping." Ugh. I hate these old tapes that slip into my consciousness and sabotage me.

Finally, I heard the little tiny voice, who I'm just starting to hear and trust. It said, "Ask and you shall receive. It's not the clothes; it's your attitude." I sighed, and my thoughts slid through the slide show of the last week, ask for help. And so, I asked my spirit guides, especially the angels, for help. I don't know who the patron saint or angel of shopping is, so I kept my plea generic, but emphatic.

I picked up a shirt, and my mom, who usually is in shock at the clothes I like, smiled as if to say, "Yeah, I like that." I quickly thought my thank you, and the store of no possibilities suddenly turned into a store of many possibilities.

We went into the dressing room, and I tried on several shirts. A couple even looked as good as they felt. Success!

While we were on a roll, we went to a department store to look at sandals. Here, we hit the jackpot, and within minutes, I was buying my 70% off sandals. Wahoo!! I love it when I find what I like; it fits, and it's on clearance.



Dark shirt=purple; other print top sparkles with sequence



I'm so happy that I'm starting to hear that loving voice inside. As soon as I noticed the tiny whisper, everything transformed. I let go of the negative thoughts that were plaguing me and insulting my body. My thoughts became, "Ok, so this is where my body is. It didn't take a day to put on this much weight. It's going to take longer than a couple of weeks to take the weight off." I sighed, relieved to be free from the burden of my own thoughts.

It's quite remarkable just how my thoughts impact my life. Negative, judgmental thoughts create a prison, which creates the illusion of so many obstacles. I think nothing is working out. When I listen to that little voice, positive, loving, forgiving, and nurturing thoughts free me from the prison. I started to smile at complete strangers because my spirit was freed from the prison of my own mind. What a gift to recognize that I hold the keys to my own imprisonment and to my own freedom!

 Who knew shopping could be such a transformative experience?