Monday, September 19, 2011

Meditation on my Lawn Mower

The rumbling and shaking
lawn mower
ease the tension,
the thoughts of the day,
whisking them away from me
as the swirling blades
cut the many blades of grass.

I breathe
taking in the calm
amidst the roar of the engine,
embracing the freshly-cut grass
a fragrance that takes me back to
my childhood so many years ago
when I first learned the gift
of silence on the
lawn mower.

I have left
my cares behind
as I re-connect with
the grassy and bumpy
land that I know so
well by now--
the stumps that
I must watch for,
the trees that offer
the challenge of disturbing
my nice, straight
lines.

My mind wanders.
I daydream.
I breathe.
I let go.
I am.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree


Does the apple fall near the tree?
When asked this question, my brain immediately wants to find all of the possible times when an apple could fall from the tree. After all, if the apple tree were right next to a cliff, then it's possible that the apple could fall and not be close to the tree at all. I'm sure I could fabricate many plausible situations where the apple would literally fall far from the tree.

 


However, having just visited an apple orchard today, I must say that when an apple falls it does fall close to a tree and remains there under the tree. Even when an apple picker might be jumping and desperately trying to knock down the perfect apple, it still does not fall far from the tree. In fact, it falls with a soft thud upon the ground.
So the real question: does this apply metaphorically to humans and their children? Ah, this is a much more challenging question as I look at my own sons.
They are amazing mirrors for me. I distinctly remember exploring in the woods with them. Pete chose a new path--one that we'd never taken before; he felt quite confident that he was going to find a new path back to our house. On the other hand, Danny cried and screamed that we were going to get lost; he was paralyzed by his fears. I looked from one to the other and wondered how it was that they personified the two parts of me so perfectly. In some situations, I am adventurous and love to forge new paths, especially in my teaching where I live free of my fears. However, I have also know the paralysis that my own fears have created, a self-made prison of sorts. What a gift to see myself so clearly in each of them!
Yesterday as we closed our pool, I felt myself slipping back into those old patterns--yelling impatiently. I wasn't shocked when they both started yelling at me and each other. Of course, I immediately scolded them for being nasty, but I heard my words echoed as if they were channeling me. It wasn't pretty. I hung my head and prayed for all of our spirit guides to help us and to bring harmony and peace into our lives. At one point, I said, "Ok, Guys, let's all say a quiet prayer to ourselves for peace and harmony." Without hesitation, Pete said, "I've done that three times. It's not working." Danny's response was simple: "My head hurts from all of the screaming." Yeah, that is exactly how I felt: "Is this praying even working? I feel ill too from all of this negative, loud noise." I'm sad that I've taught my children to yell and criticize, but I'm happy that they have learned to ask Divinity for help and to recognize the connection between our emotions and our bodies.
Today, as we went apple picking for the first time, I watched them again. They were both willing to pick apples, but I didn't see myself immediately reflected in them. Pete picked apples for a while, but when he decided that he was done, he stopped but was content to watch the apple picking. Danny picked with great gusto and exuberance. He taste-tested them and filled the bags with the ones he really liked. Unfortunately, he walked through some sticky, prickly burrs and needed help picking them off of his shorts, which ended his joy and his willingness to pick apples.
At first glance, neither really is me, but when I dig just a bit beneath the surface, I find the mirrors. Like Pete, when I make up my mind, sometimes that's it; I will stop what I'm doing and decide, "Ok, I've done enough. I'm done." At times, this is a gift to know my limits, but sometimes, I must wonder if I pull myself out of the fun. In terms of Danny, I begin many things with great exuberance too; I'm also willing to try lots of new things, but what do I do when it gets a bit sticky? Truthfully, I must confess that sometimes I just drop the apple bag and stop--too frustrated to move forward.
I recognize that we each have our own journey. We can choose to alter our paths. Personally, I'd like to think that I'm not in the same orchard as my own parents right now, but I know that a few short years ago I was repeating their patterns with my own sons. I could choose to live an unconscious life filled with should's and ought to's. I choose to change my perceptions. I feel my connection with Divinty, not because I go to church, but because I honor the Divine in nature, people, and within myself.
So, my friend, the apple does not fall far from the tree in this house. However, I am not disheartened by this realization, despite the fact that it pains me to watch them set their own limits--many of which they've learned from me. I am aware of my short comings, and I am willing to make changes in order to become a healthier, more fruit-producing tree. Perhaps they will fall close to my tree. I hope they will be strong enough to open up their minds, hearts, and souls to see beyond my limitations as they branch out and begin to grow their own roots.
 Namaste,
L


Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Woodpecker

Woodpecker tapping,
drumming new rhythms of life,
flying, now coasting.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Sun Always Shines

 
Black clouds cast a dark shadow over the morning trees.
The golden sun radiates through the darkness,




 


Rays radiating a brilliant, golden glow.
As a reminder that despite the darkness that we might see,
The light needs only a small opening



 
To illuminate the darkness.

No matter how thick the dark clouds may be

The sun always shines.
















Thursday, September 15, 2011

A Sacred Place, a short story

"A sacred place," she said, walking into the main entry of the pink, stucco villa.

The man shook his head. "No, Ma'am, this is not a sacred place."

She turned to face his words, which hung in the thick air.

His eyes roamed the crisp, white, ceramic tiles.

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She half-smiled as if memories from the past wafted through her consciousness. She floated from room to room exploring all the nooks and crannies of the old mansion.

He watched her, wondering what she was searching for. He'd shown this house many times over the past 20 years, but this was the first time a client examined each crevice so thoroughly. He wondered at times if she were hunting treasure.

She closed her eyes and glided through the house adeptly as if she was already intimate with the house. She hummed and twirled. Her eyes welled with tears. She ran her fingertips over the banister, pausing in the middle of the staircase. Her eyes glazed over--involved in distant memories.

He scrutinized her. She was far too young to have lived in this house. She was maybe 20 years old, but he had never seen her. She dressed simply, but she radiated in this house. He had inquired about whether she could even afford to buy the house, but she was determined and offered vague responses. He had merely humored her. After all, what did he have to lose?

Most clients walked in the front door, gasped at the heavy sadness that thickened the air, politely glanced around, and headed for the safety of their car. He played a secret game with them; he would size up the client and then estimate how long they would last. The shortest time was 58 seconds; the longest was fifteen minutes. This woman had already set a new record--95 minutes, and she showed no signs of stopping.

He was intrigued by her. She had run through the villa bursting into each room as if someone might be waiting for her. Then she had begun her suspended-in-time tour, relishing the woodwork, the tiles, the doors, the fireplaces, and the stairs. Curious, he followed her at a distance, sensing that somehow he was intruding on very private moments.

When she pushed against a wall, he started to tell her that it was a wall, but then the wall gave way to her nudging, and she disappeared.

Several minutes passed. He walked over and peered into the tiny room. She sat gently rocking herself. Her tears flowed from closed eyelids.

He cast a shadow over her.

She looked up at him and blinked.

He spoke, "Are you ok, Ma'am?"

She smiled wistfully and nodded.

Silence hung between them.

He sighed. "You seem very sweet, and I think there's something that you should know. This house has a horrendous history."

Her eyes opened fully focused on him now.

"The family that lived here was brutally murdered. It's haunted. I've been showing this house for twenty years, and no one has ever been inside for this long. I'm not sure how you knew to find this secret room, but this isn't good for you."

She blinked and shook her head softly. Then whispered, "Yes, they were killed, and there is a sadness that lurks here. But, this house hid hundreds of slaves. Neighbors reported them to the police, but the police could find no proof of the slaves. So, the family continued to help runaway slaves. The neighbors spread the news to anyone who might listen; the group most interested decided to enforce the law themselves. At night, they invaded the house, and no one survived."

He nodded, "Yeah, like I said, people were murdered here. Why're you so interested in this house all of a sudden? How'd you know about this room?"

She blinked at him and stood up. She brushed the dust from her long dress. "Thank you for showing me the house, Mr. Julius. I appreciate your patience."

"It's my pleasure, but--"

She smiled and walked past him.

"Please, how did you know about the room?" He was nearly begging now.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she whispered. "Let's just leave it this way... I have come to facilitate forgiveness and healing. I think you'll find that your clients will want to see more of the villa, and you will have a purchase offer soon." She left him in the house.

His eyes popped open and his bottom jaw dropped. Questions swirled through his thoughts. He ran to the front entry in time to see her car drive down the dusty lane. He sat on the front swing, trying to steady himself. When he pulled the front door closed, he stopped and walked in. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The air was no longer thick with tragedy. Instead he felt drawn its warmth and peacefulness. He exhaled completely and locked the door.

He turned and looked down the dusty lane where the child-woman had disappeared. He nodded acknowledging her truth: forgiveness had healed the past hurts and replaced them with peace. He stood in a sacred place.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Choice

Angry or peaceful?
Breathing, harmony resounds, 
heart space opens. Love.


Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Messages From Above


 As I was driving down my half mile driveway, I looked up and saw this amazing white disk brilliant in the sky. I smiled, happy to see the setting moon greet me this morning. It seems as though I was given a message.

The moon descends as the end of night approaches. An ending. It is not a time of mourning nor a time of fear nor of resistance. The night will end. The day will begin. Darkness will give way to light. It is a simple acceptance.  









Then I drove almost a mile to school. I looked out my colleague's window. I was in awe of the gorgeous sun rising in the eastern sky over the village of Trumansburg. The tiny black dots in the sky are seagulls; these flocks dotted the sky. My smile grew. I was honored to witness the sun rising. It isn't news. But, today, I was able to witness the morning miracle. I snapped two shots in succession of the sun rising a bit more in the bottom picture. I received another message.

The moon delivered the message of endings; the rising sun delivered the message of beginnings.

My colleague looked out of his window a bit reluctantly and pointed out that the brilliant morning sky was a sure sign of bad weather to come. I nodded to indicate that I heard his words, but inside I shook my head and thought, "This is magnificent. It's going to be a gorgeous day. If the predicted storms arrive, then so be it, but right now, I am in awe. My heart is full."

Of course storms will cross my path at some point for that is part of the cycle. But, I needn't fear them. Right now, I can enjoy the beauty of this moment.



Late this afternoon, I went for a walk with a friend. I must confess that I hadn't taken a moment to notice the sky again during the day. Until the moment where the thought passed through my mind, "I thought it was supposed to storm today." Then I gazed up into the sky and smiled at the ever-changing cloud formations.  

What a gift! It had been a beautiful, sunny day. Some storm clouds were starting to move in as puffs of clouds swirled high above. Yes, change is always happening. Endings are inevitable and carry a beauty of their own. The brilliance of beginnings takes our breath away in the moment. They too give way to a beauty of the day--all too easy to miss if we keep our heads always down.

In the now, we are surrounded by miracles in the messages from above.

Namaste,

L